Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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