I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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