SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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