Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
