Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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