like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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