I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
