If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
