its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
