Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
