Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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