I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just want nice things and good sex
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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