You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
