Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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