i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
