I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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