He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
