I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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