Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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