I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
