just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
