there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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