I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
