Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
