I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
