So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize