called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
