There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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