I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
