check it out our google latitudes are spooning
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
