And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize