Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
