textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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