1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
