Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize