I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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