Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
