he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
