I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
