people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
