i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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