Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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