She's the barista slut.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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