Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Let's paint friendship bongs
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize