Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
