where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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