Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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