Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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