i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
