what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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