Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
