How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
