my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
