I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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