I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
