Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm at about main and main street
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
