I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
