My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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