I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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