But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
